


Lazarus Rising

by ProfoundlyInLove



Series: This Goes Out to My Favorite Heartbreaker [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Concerts, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heart Break, Multi, One Night Stand, Pranks, Punk!Dean, Smut, Touring, Verbal Abuse, abuse history, lonely!dean, rockstar!dean, snarky!castiel, song inspired fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-29 06:29:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfoundlyInLove/pseuds/ProfoundlyInLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During his one month break between tours, Dean's found himself in his hometown of Lawrence, Kansas. While the rest of the band is off spending their downtime with family, Dean's found himself falling for the mysterious guy from the Roadhouse. Spending every single day together. He was closed off, dark, and strange. But it's what Dean found alluring. He also loved the fact that Mr. Mysterious didn't know who the hell he is.<br/>Dean's left broken hearted, sad, and utterly confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another project, I have so many going on that my head could spin. But I got this idea and couldn't drop it. Before I worry you, there will be a happy ending. May not seem that way, but there will be. I've fallen too in love with this verse to just break Dean's heart and leave.  
> Also, when I'm picturing this band, I'm mostly seeing All Time Low. So it's kinda a fusion but totally not. I just like Alex Gaskarth!Dean ok?

  
"Dean! Dean Winchester!" A photographer shouted, the same one who has been following since the gig that ended just over an hour ago. They weren't a huge band, but they've been on the radio more than their fair share and have found their way into the public eye more times than they like. All he wanted to do right now is go to his hotel and sleep for an eternity, their six month tour is finally over and Dean has one month to do whatever he pleases. He just doesn't want to be followed to the hotel, so that he can escape to the aiport in the morning and finally return to his home town. Sammy, who was also in the band, was going to be spending the break with his fiancee Jess. Lucky bastard, finding the love of his life in high school. Dean hadn't been so lucky, and that's how he finds himself with no plans for the next month. All his friends are either busy with their real lives, or people he met on tour. Dead beat dad, dead mother, it all calls for lonely times. Sure, in Lawrence there are people he can't wait to see and be with, but it isn't the same. He'll be going home to the same empty apartment that only served as a stopping ground.

"Is it true that your ex-girlfriend Lisa Braeden's child wasn't actually yours?" That was a sore spot. He'd been with Lisa for two years, starting their senior year of high school. He swore he would do right by her when they found out she was pregnant. It was later discovered there was no possible way it could be his, and things were ended immediately. That was years ago, so Dean wasn't entirely sure where that was coming from.

"I'm not talkin' bout them." Dean said gruffly, ignoring the flashing that blinded his eyes. This was what he hated about his life, no privacy. Everyone knew everything. From his birth to present day, how his mother died, father left the parenting to Dean. Down to every stupid decision he's made in his life. Drunk partying, sad love songs, it all makes it out into the world somehow.

Dean's phone buzzed with a twitter notification. Personally, he hated Twitter. But Sam had basically forced it onto him. '@DeanLazarusRising Hows it feel to be a free man?' Dean couldn't help but snort, it was his best friend Jo. She still lived back in Lawrence with her Ma running a bar. She was a huge reason he was returning. People always assumed that they were in love, but truly, she was the sister he never wanted.

'@Jo_Harvelle Like a dream, sweetheart. I'll be back before you know it.'

"Can you confirm dating rumors between you and Miss. Harvelle?" The photographer pushed, shoving the camera into Dean's face. This guy was seriously testing his patience.

"As I've said before, best friend, sister, that's it. Can you leave me be? Just wanna go home." Dean said bitterly. He knew Lawrence wasn't his home anymore, not really. As a twenty-six year old with little ties to anywhere in the world, his only home was the tour bus where he spends most of his time. Sometimes he'd refer to the hotels as home, but not nearly as often.

'@DeanLazarusRising You're not back at the hotel yet, you ok?' It was from Sammy, who was probably already at the hotel packing like a maniac, not that there's much to pack. Jess and him and the perfect relationship, her joining them whenever possible, and when they were apart they'd skype and text constantly. So this break was something Sam's been looking forward to for weeks.

'@SamLazarusRising Photographer won't leave me alone, I'll be back when I lose him.' His feed updated before he had a chance to put his phone away, it was from his only other non-tour friend, Gabriel.  
'@DeanLazarusRising Dean-o! When is your flight coming in? We can't wait to see you! Jo's been babbling for weeks!' He rolled his eyes, but smiled intensely.

'@LokiHasRisen I should be there sometime after noon, tomorrow, Gabe. Break the liquor lock at Ellen's, we'll be havin' a party!'

'@DeanLazarusRising Hells yeah we will! Drop the glamour life for some good ol' Gabe time. Even Bobby wants to see your ugly mug.' Dean rolled his eyes again, never losing the smile, by now he's walking down a street he didn't recognize, though that was easy. Last time he was in New York he'd gotten lost for three hours and had to call their body guard for assistance, it had been embarrassing.

"Can't you give me somethin' man? I've got kids!" The photographer complained. Dean stopped and contemplated for a moment, trying to think of something that wouldn't ruin him but would still get the photographer to leave.

"Ever hear of the Kinsey scale?" Dean grunted, looking the photographer in the eye, he nodded in response.

"I consider myself a five, only one female relationship in my life and it fucked me over. Ya' happy?" Dean said, staring the man down with a glare. The photographer smiled and scurried off, only irritating Dean more. He felt more like an object and less like a person these days.

'@LokiHasRisen @Jo_Harvelle There's a problem when you have to out yourself for privacy. when I get to the RH we're getting smashed.' He shut his phone off after that, not wanting to deal with the fan blow-back. So he hailed a cab and made his way back to the hotel to find a worried Sam Winchester.

"Are you sure that was a good idea, Dean? What if something happens? What if--"

"Sammy, I just wanted to come home, can't I get a break? You've got a red-eye, get on outta here. Give Jess a hug for me, swing by Lawrence before the breaks over. I haven't seen her since she last visited, besides, we need to see Mom." Dean said with a forced smile. He couldn't deny he felt sad. Being the only one in the band without something else but music was hard, and lonely. All Dean had was Sam and his songs. But Sam was building his own family, could easily make it in the world without being a rockstar. But Dean..He couldn't.

"Yeah, of course, I'll see you soon. Be careful, and say hello to Ellen and everyone for me." Sam smiled, and then he was gone, leaving Dean to an empty hotel room. Ash, the lead guitarist had already packed up and was visiting family back home. The drummer, Ruby, was going backpacking in England. They'd never gotten along, but he'll miss fighting with her. Even if it's only a month.

Laying in the hotel bed, he opened up his laptop and started looking through the blowback. There was mostly support despite how vague he'd been, and a lot of gay butt jokes from Gabe. He'd come out to Gabe and Jo in freshman year, yet the man still hasn't gotten all his butt jokes out of his system. It's been over a decade! They're twenty-six years old now, for Christ sakes. All though, he wouldn't change his odd best friends for anything.

A tweet from the band twitter rang through, it was ran by their tour manager Crowley. (Otherwise known as the King of Hell.) '@LazarusRising 's latest tour has come to a close, if you boys come back with any new piercings or tattoos there will be hell to pay.' Challenge accepted, Crowley, challenge accepted. Dean liked to do anything he could to piss the small Scottsman off. Hence between every single tour, and sometimes after a wild night of partying, he'll add to his ever growing tattoo collection. He'd had a few piercings before but have since been removed, though they may make another appearance one day. Depends if Crowley has pissed him off or not. For the most part, he sticks to tattoos, usually ones that mean something. An anti-possesion symbol, the same as Sam's, a complicated clock that shows the time his mother passed-- as a memorial, a colt running up his side, and as well his most famous words. A quote from a song he never released, only three people even knew it existed, and it's easy to guess who. They were the words, "The world is broken, halos fail to glisten. For the rest of my life, I will be forever broken." There were a few more with much less importance, such as an angel banishing symbol, the words "God has Failed us all." and his brothers birthday.

Dean didn't manage a single moment of sleep, instead he twisted uncomfortably in bed, anxious for his homecoming. So when he arrived at the aiport with his duffle bag and guitar case, he was positively exhausted. He was stopped by a few teenage girls, for photos and autographs. He complied but couldn't help but yawn. Not trying to be rude, but the past six months of his life have been a constant party. No, more like ever since the day they signed with the record label five years ago, when Sam was seventeen and he was twenty-one. But they'd all been playing together for years before that.

He still couldn't sleep on the plane, between being petrified they'd crash in a firey mess and being berrated by passengers. Someone had shown him the last minute article posting before cell phones were to be turned off. 'Punk star Dean Winchester-- Gay?' He didn't care, he really didnt' since honestly it was pretty damn true. There had only been one woman, and even that didn't last. After that, it had been exclusively men he'd find in his hotel bedrooms.

When they landed in Kansas, Dean was ready to drop. But was entirely thankful that in this place, people didn't truly recognize him, nor care. He'd be stopped sometimes, but not nearly as often as most places. Arriving at his apartment was surreal, and it finally felt like a homecoming when the few non-familial faces who cared most about him yelled, "Welcome home, Dean!" as he opened the door.

Maybe he was home.


	2. 'Fraid I'll Write About You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Then just don't break my heart.)

"Welcome home, Dean!" A few people shouted happily, Dean knew them immediately. Jo, her mother Ellen, Gabriel, and Bobby. His makeshift family and his eternal rock. No matter what happened, they've been there, even in the brief moments that even Sam wasn't. That had been a dark time, when Sam had refused to talk to Dean for a few weeks thinking Dean had left pregnant Lisa to move onto bigger and better things, after she started spreading false accusations. His own brother believed Lisa over him. Things were cleared up eventually, but the way Sam had treated him during that time had killed him. It had led to a lot of day drinking and really fucking depressing music being made.

There were arms thrown around Dean very quickly, Gabriel's actually, apparently riding in with a sugar high that could kill a diabetic. Followed by Jo's, even Ellen and Bobby's. He dropped his things and wrapped his arms around as many bodies as he could manage. You don't realize how much you miss they sneaky bastards until you finally come home. With all the calls, texts, tweets, and videos, he never felt very homesick. Dean would visit as often as possible, often ending up getting drunk with Jo and Gabe, then passing out in a booth at the Roadhouse, then leaving for his next gig with a hangover that could positively kill.

"We missed you so much." Jo mumbled into Dean's shirt, being very kind despite her rocky exterior.

"Missed you too, Cinderella." Dean chuckled, earning a hard punch in the arm as everyone pulled away.

"Is that all you have? Have you been eating enough? God is that another tattoo?" Ellen started in, with her mother hen act. Though it wasn't an act, the woman was practically his mother, while Bobby like a father. Jo was the annoying sister while Gabe..Well Gabe was Gabe.

"Yes, yes, and yes, Ellen. Don't worry, 'M fine, let's just eat before I fall asleep." Dean laughed, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He looked like he'd been in a fight, but thankfully no one said a word. Dean didn't want to explain this one, but if he had to, he could at least say he'd won.

"How's your hotter brother?" Gabriel asked with a sly grin.

"I'm the hotter brother, don't go gettin' things wrong." Dean said with a smirk, plopping down on his couch.

"I ordered pizza, and we brought booze, you ready for some fun Lawrence-style?" Jo asked, sitting down next to him, while Gabe sat on his other side. The two older adults had retreated to the kitchen, but Dean didn't hear what for.

"Of course I am, Miss. Harvelle!" Dean exclaimed, giving her a knock-em-dead smile. His phone buzzed as Jo got up to get a few beers.

'@DeanLazarusRising Jess says hello, all is well here.' attatched was a photo of the couple who were attatched at the hip, he was surprised they could stop kissing long enough to take a photo and inform him that he hadn't died in some plane accident. Dean smiled at the photo but didn't respond, instead he got up and dug out his guitar and song book.

"Got an idea, Dean-o?" Gabe asked, spreading himself out on the now empty couch.

"Sorta, you could say. Been working on something, 'bout Sam and Jess for their anniversary. It's a little weird, but I think they'll like it." Dean said.

"Oh yeah? What's it about?"

"Their relationship, long distance being a bitch, but also a more broad theme so they don't kick my ass for spreading their cushy love story." Dean explained, taking out his favorite glow in the dark pick, starting up from the chorus.

" _Backseat serenade, dizzy hurricane, oh God I'm sick of sleeping alone. Salty like a summer day, kiss the pain away, to the radio_." Dean sang as Jo came back into the room wearing a smirk.

"Finally find a boy who can hold you down?" Jo asked, handing him a beer, refusing to give Gabe his out of spite.

"Oh yes, Joanna Beth, I'd be here alone with you all if I had some stud." Dean smiled, not meaning any venom, which they knew.

"It's about Sam and Jess, stupid. You'd be the first to know if I had a new guy that was around to stay. Nobody's worthy of a love song, today." It came out sadder than it was supposed to.

"You'll find your love song man, one day, Dean-o. I could set you up with this stud I hired at my store?" Gabe offered. He's been running an extravagant candy store for about two years now, after he graduated from KU.

"Is he gay? Or is he just some experimenting college student?" Dean hummed, taking a drink from his beer while twisting his pick around in his hand.

"He's a grad student, twenty-three, but he's definitely gay. The only girl he's actually talked to in the store by choice is his sister, who is smoking hot by the way. Jo's crushing hard on her." Gabriel confessed with a grin, making Jo blush a scarlet red.

"So that's the infamous Anna Milton?" Dean asked, wriggling his eye brows at Jo with interest. She nodded, still red as a tomato.

"So what's the guys name?" Dean chuckled, leaving Jo alone. For now.

"His name's Castiel Novak, grade A hot stuff, I'd go gay for him." Gabriel said, snagging his beer from Jo's hand.

Dean stared at his friend, "You hit on anything with a hole you can stick it in, that doesn't say much." Dean said with a raised eyebrow, making Jo snort beer out her nose.

"So I can hook you up?" Gabe asked excitedly.

"I'll swing by the store tomorrow and scope the kid out. If he fan-girls, I'm out." Dean shrugged, it wasn't like he had anything to do for the next month. If this kid didn't prove interesting, he'd probably spend his time reading, or getting drunk with these yahoos. Maybe he'll work with Gabe or Ellen during the break, to avoid going stir crazy. Touring works for him for a reason. Before high school, he never stayed anywhere more than a few weeks. Then suddenly John's so gone that he can't even manage that, so they stopped. But with the band really taking off, he's back into the lifestyle.

He still says even now, high school was the best years of his life. Little garage band, being able to see your friends constantly, being able to have secrets and hope to fall in love. When you're in high school the world looks so bright, but then you leave and all the brightness slips away into something dark and terrifying. No more constant contact with the ones you love, things start to matter, there are repercussions for everything you do. Especially with Dean's life. You fuck up, and it's all over the internet by the end of the night.

"Yes! You'll love him! Well I dunno he's got a real stick up his ass but he's got the whole dark mysterious hot man thing you like!" Gabriel sputtered out excitedly, as Dean spread out on the floor with his guitar, starting to play a song he's been writing just for himself. It's been a long going project, one that will most likely never make any album no matter how much they nag. It seems too personal for Dean to be comfortable with. No one living knows about it, he's played bits to his mothers grave though. It was mostly written for her after all. Not all of it, but most. Some parts were about little bits of his childhood or life in general for him. He's been doing all he can to make it seem less angry, because the anger of the song is for his father, but it hasn't come out right just yet.

"Yeah, I'll come round tomorrow and see. Then we could go eat at the Roadhouse and ruin Jo's orders like we used to." Dean grinned. There were many high school memories where Dean and Gabe would sneak in and fuck up every order Jo would get, until Ellen made them fix the mess they'd created. It was always worth it.

"You'll do no such thing!" Jo protested, snapping a picture of the sprawled out twenty-six year olds. She posted the picture with the tag 'brothers' with an annoyed emoticon.

"Hey Gabe, if he's hot, can I work there for the month? I don't wanna be paid or anything just give me somethin' to do. Give us more man-time. If not I can slum it with Joanna Beth back there. But I think she'd prefer that I not." Dean laughed, tossing his pick into the air and catching it repeatedly.

"Damn straight." Jo answer with a flick of her hair.

"Course, I'll set it up tomorrow. He works mornings so I'm assuming you'll want that one too." Gabe said, winking flirtatious.

"Probably, thanks man." Dean grinned, Gabriel still felt he owed Dean helping him pay for the start up, but Dean has long since forgotten that. He thought of it as something friends do, and they're basically brothers, of course he'd help. It made Gabe happy. After the pizza arrived, everyone ate while catching up. Their dating lives were in the same gutter as Dean's, John apparently has been looking around his boys, and life is ultimately the same as it always has been. It's oddly comforting.

"Do'you wanna hit the Roadhouse now?" Dean drawled, slinging his guitar over his back with a lazy smile.

"Of course, Mr. Rockstar! Leggo!" Gabriel shouted with excitement, pumping his fists in the air as the three young adults poured out of the apartment, leaving the older adults at home after they've agreed to nurse the drunkards back to health when they come home. When you become a parent, you don't stop once they've grown up.

'Going out with @LokiHasRisen & @DeanLazarusRising sex booze and good times honey.' They were down the stairs in a moments notice, bursting out into the warm Kansas air. Summer was all but over, students were preparing to return, while Dean was finally coming out to party. Friday night in a great town with amazing company, he has a good feeling about tonight. The weight of his guitar on his back felt comfortable and familiar, he would walk these same streets with the very same guitar all those years ago. Playing guitar in the park for spare money so he could get Sammy a new pair of shoes. Sometimes he'd have to play far past dark but he'd get the money, and for once it'd be legally.

"Can I do a video project on you?" Jo asked, whipping out her camcorder. She's been getting much more into her filming these past months. Trying to branch away from her mother, find her own niche in this world.

"Depends, am I gonna look like a douche?" Dean asked as Jo turned on the camera, clicking record to let it focus on Dean.

"Most likely, but please?" She asked with her puppy dog eyes that Sam had undoubtedly taught her.

"Fine." He grumbled, looking up at the sun to let the retreating light pour over his face.

"State your name for the record." Jo giggled, focusing in on Dean even further.

"Name's Dean Winchester, sweetheart." Dean said with a prominent wink, which made Jo gag.

"Whatcha do for a living, Dean Winchester?" Jo asked, this video was obviously going to be her highlight of the month, but it'll probably make a fool out of Dean. But at least she'd be happy.

"I'm a rock star, baby!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air, letting his laugh fill the atmosphere.

"Modesty is a charming trait on you, Dean." Gabriel chimed in as they walked into the Roadhouse, it was mostly empty with a few regulars. Most people start coming in within the next hour or so.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Gabriel asked, ignoring the obvious fact that they're getting plastered and are going to hit on anything that has a heart beat. "Well I'm gonna get Dean drunk enough to sing on the stage, without all his fancy shit. I miss all your acoustic drunk performances, Deany-baby." Jo pouted, coining the most hated nickname on the planet.

"I sure as hell don't miss making sure he hasn't drowned in his own vomit after he starts singing into empty tequila bottles." Gabriel scoffed with a grin as Dean threw back his fourth shot since arriving at the Roadhouse.

"I've just got professionals to do it for me now, Gabriel." Dean winked, biting down onto his guitar pick necklace that he always wore alongside the samulet.

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Rock n' Roll. Movin' on to big and better, but don't forget the little people." Gabriel pouted, followed by a giant shit faced grin, knowing Dean could never. He may be a cocky bastard who drinks way too much, but he's so family oriented that it hurts him, every single time. Dean slid up onto the counter of the bar sliding his guitar around to his front, showing off a cheeky smile while Jo filmed him and Gabriel laughed at him. The first chords came naturally, one of his favorite party songs to break out on occasions. Not his typical run of music, but it was fun and light hearted.

"I feel like dancin' tonight! I'm gonna party like it's my civil right!" He sang along, while Gabe drummed on empty beer glasses. Jo was spinning around with her camera.

"Everybody get kinda awesome! It doesn't matter where, I don't care if people stare," Dean said, sending a wink towards the gentlemen in a trench coat who walked in, and was giving him bedroom eyes whilst all the same looking entirely confused. Doesn't matter, he's hot as hell, Dean's had too much, and hasn't been laid in a God awful long time. At this point, he's stood up onto the bar, dancing across the bar with his guitar in hand, swiftly dodging peoples drinks and hands.

"Oh one more time!" Dean shouted as the bell to the front door rang out, followed by an angry, "Oh no you wont, boy! Get down from my bar right this instant! I don't care what you can get away with while you're gone, but this is my bar and I won't have your drunken ass dancing all over it!" Ellen shouted, not actually angry, mostly trying to prove a point to her other customers. Dean slid down and swaggered right over to her and planted a kiss right on her cheek.

"Man, you're more and more like a mama to me every time I come home, Ellen. I think you're gonna make Jo jealous." He said, offering her a sincere hug, which she happily returned.

"What would I do without you." He grinned as he pulled back.

"Crash and burn, obviously. Go be with your friends, get Jo home safe, and stay off my bar!" She laughed as she slid into the back room. As he turned around, he was faced with bedroom eyes. They were shockingly blue and he has the whole I-just-had-sex look. If he was being honest, Dean would say he pulled that off pretty fucking well.

"You know, you're actually quite good." He said, his voice deep and gravely.

"I would hope so, or else my whole life is a lie." Dean laughed, pointing towards an unoccupied table where they both sat down across from each other. The man was nursing a beer, while Dean was pretty sure one more beer would be what leaves him drooling on the pool table like Ash always does.

"Oh really?" The man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "Musician sorta thing. But I'm home for a while, so meh." He smiled, giving a nonchalant shrug. The man seemed intrigued, but not thrown off.

"Must be a hard being away from home, when I first moved here it was hard." He answered, looking anywhere but Dean.

"Couldn't have been here that long, I'd have recognized you with them eyes," Dean laughed, "I was born here, moved around a lot, but came back for high school."

"I'm from Pontiac, Illinois. Came here for grad school after a family blow up." He said, being bluntly honest. It's hard to find honest people like that these days. Especially with Dean's profession, so this man was a breath of fresh air.

"I understand how that one feels." Dean frowned, "I'm Dean by the way." He reached his hand across the table, which the man grasped for a few seconds. Just a handshake, Dean reminded himself. There was the sound of a photo shutter coming from the bar, earning Jo a nasty glare from Dean.

"I'm Castiel, I'm assuming you know Miss. Harvelle?" Castiel..Castiel..Ohh. Maybe Gabriel was right, he is a stud. Looks like he'll be taking morning shifts after all. "Oh God, I wish not." Dean groaned, sounding absolutely pornographic, earning a few head turns.

He snorted, "She's practically a sister, I tried to sell her on the black market in high school. Not actually of course, just hung up signs all over the school that said 'Bitchy blonde for sale.' But then I scratched out sale and wrote free." Castiel's grin was stellar as Dean talked, as Jo and Gabe were gossiping at the bar.

"Sounds like our high school experiences were pretty different." He grinned, leaning back into the booth, taking a long drink from his beer.

"Honestly, you're probably right. I had the two yahoos at the bar, a brother, and a couple of people I tolerated. You look like mister prefect of Hogwarts, who could do whatever he wanted." Dean admitted as his phone buzzed.

"Hogwarts?" Castiel chuckled.

'@DeanLazarusRising Look who's getting cozy. ;)' Attatched was a photo of Castiel and himself shaking hands.

"Joanna Beth I will ruin you!" Dean glared before returning his gaze to Castiel, "Yeah, you know, magic and mystery. Sorry, I'm honestly kind of drunk, you can just ignore me."

"Well we should get drunk again another time, as well. You're an interesting man." Castiel smirked.

"Why thank you, but you'll change your mind about that when I puke on your shoes."

"I have full faith that you won't." Castiel laughed.

"You'll regret that one, Cas."

"Cas?"

"Nickname-- Sorry habit, I'll stop." Dean said with a hint of a blush.

"Oh no, it's rather okay, I like it." Dean hummed in response.

"You know, you really are a stud." He smirked, leaning over the table closer to Castiel.

"Maybe you've had too much.."

"Can I kiss you, Cas?" Castiel looked stunned in response, so Dean grasped the lapels of his trench coat and closed the distance, Dean heard two more shutters of Jo's camera phone, but just gave her the bird. After a few terrifying seconds, Castiel started to kiss back, rough, needy, and desperate.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Castiel gasped, Dean nodded stupidly in response. The whole way to Castiel's apartment, they were slamming each other into walls, pulling each other deeper, a whole new definition of PDA. Castiel fumbled with his keys as Dean slid his hands down the front of Cas' pants, nipping at his ear. Cas groaned as the door opened, and pulled Dean inside the dark apartment.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good, babe." Castiel groaned, stripping of Dean's clothes, while Dean fumbled with Castiel's belt.

"I don't doubt it." Dean replied, finally pulling Castiel's pants down to his ankles, pulling out his cock.

"Nngg.." Castiel let out as Dean slow, dragging his tongue along his shaft.

"You're gonna cause me a lot of trouble, aren't you?" Dean mumbled.

"Most likely."

* * *

 

Dean woke up in an unfamiliar place the next morning, feeling unbearably hungover, in an empty bed with a note taped to his bare chest. 'You said you hadn't slept in over a day. Sleep well.' He smiled before looking over at the clock, it was eleven in the morning. Then it dawned on him, he was supposed to meet Gabriel at the shop..with Castiel..Shit. Quickly, Dean got up to try to find his discarded clothes and guitar, which proved rather difficult. The apartment may have been small, but there were things everywhere. It wasn't a mess, but there was just a lot of stuff.

When he found his phone there were two messages waiting, '@DeanLazarusRising Dude, where are you?' Jo asked, two hours ago. Dean was always one to slip out after a one night stand fast and early. But he was surprised she was even awake, knowing she'd been drinking her fair share late into the night. The second was a direct message from Gabe. 'I hope you know he's covered in hickeys. Heathens. ;)'

Dean managed to find all his clothes and guitar after a good ten minutes of searching, and was jogging down main street to get to Gabe's shop before he decides to get creative and set up a prank, if he hasn't already. He could see Gabriel through the glass door, grinning unbearably, tapping on the counter. Oh fuck. The door swung open, dropping a bucket full of glitter onto Dean's head.

"Gabriel? What was that?" Someone asked from the back room, walking out with a lollipop in their mouth, dressed in a plain pair of jeans and ratty t-shirt.

"You can't dump glitter on paying customers, Gabriel!" He tsked, going to get a vacuum.

"Oh yes, because this asshole pays, he's cheap!" Gabe accused with a smile.

"Do you not recognize me?" Dean asked, bewildered, no one forgets the face of a one night stand that quickly unless it was awful.

"Of course I do, we had sex, but this is work, I need to be professional." Castiel grumbled, flicking glitter off of Dean.

"Professional.. You take this place seriously? The man dumped glitter on me!" Dean laughed, pointing at Gabe.

"Yes, I know, but just because my employer is a child, doesn't mean I must behave as one as well."

"Well then now that I'm working here, I'll have to livin' up the place." Dean smirked, sitting on the counter while giving Gabe's head a quick shove.

"Forgive me, did you say you'll be working here? And do you two know each other?" Castiel asked, looking shocked.

"Told you last night man! He's one of my yahoos! But yeah, working here, for free might I add. I'm a good man like that." Dean said with a devious wink.

"Oh please, you just didn't want to sit in your apartment, bored." Gabriel scoffed, popping a candy into his mouth.

"Shuddup, anyway, Cas, wanna go on an actual date? Not just me threatening to puke on your shoes?" Dean asked with a grin.

"That's probably a bad idea." Castiel deadpanned, sweeping up glitter, giving Dean an amazing view of his ass.

"Afraid that if you break my heart I'll write songs about you?" Dean chuckled. "C'mon, I'll make it worth your time."

"Please don't write about me," He shuddered, "Well what do you propose?"

Score.


	3. I'm Gonna Start a Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No schedule, I never thought I'd continue this so just be happy xD

Six Months Later

The night has been horrible. To gauge horrible, tonight was worse than when Sam let him sit over night in the drunk tank in a city they’d never been to before, and was accidently left behind by the bus driver.

Though he was in the slammer again, but this time his pissed off little brother was here saving the day. They were currently in LA which meant that Sam was able to see his now-wife Jess during their current tour, which for them was everything. Except now they were waking up in the middle of the night picking him up in his half-sober-half-hungover-completely-heartbroken state of mind.

Dean lost Cas five months ago, and he’s been in a downward spiral since the day he walked out. Sam has been fishing his older brother out of seedy bars and out of toilet bowls. Ruby has found him utterly intolerable, which found the two in more fights than ever. After tonight was one of their worsts in their whole time of knowing each other.

When Sam finally entered the room, Dean was staring up at the ceiling while trying to keep his bile inside his mouth.

“You’re going to get yourself killed at this pace, Dean.” He said solemnly. A tone so devoid of emotion that it shook Dean to his core.

“I figured.” was all he replied.

“Don’t say things like that.” Sam said quickly, terror in his voice. Dean just shrugged, “Okay.”

‘@BeckyIsWatching Is @DeanLazarusRising driving himself into the ground? Or is this some publicity stunt?’

‘@QueenOfMoondoor I can’t watch you kill yourself like this!’

‘@BiteMeBitch What the hell is happening to Lazarus Rising?’

_Flashing white lights surrounded them as the screen lifted, the music blasting from every direction. The mic stand in front of Dean was the only thing keeping him from crumbling down on his knees, tonight was harder than the past few nights, his emotions were more than just metaphorical baggage. They were dead weight on his shoulders, breaking him in every way possible._

__

_“I guess I just lost my husband, I dunno where he went. So I’m going to drink my money, I’m not gonna pay his rent.” He sang, trying to let the words fill him up and keep him on his feet._

__

_The guitar and drums behind him were loud and thumping through his chest, like another heartbeat on his chest. His heartbeat._

__

_“I’m gonna get in trouble, I’m gonna start a fight.” His voice was angry, hurt, broken._

__

_“I’m alright, I’m just--” His words caught in his throat like he was trying to speak with sand in his mouth._

__

_“I’m not fine.” He said dejectedly, letting the mic stand fall over before he marched right off the stage, leaving the rest of the band in shock. Dean left the stadium rather quickly before he managed to practically barricade himself in yet another one of the seedy bar across America._

__

_The fight was new though. If he was honest, all it took were those bright blue eyes before he made up his mind. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor and the cops were on their way._

__

“What are we going to do, Dean? Because things can’t go on like this. You’ll ever ruin your career or get yourself six feet under. I’d never forgive you for either of those.” Sam said, pulling his brother onto his foolhardy feet. With his head in his hands, he made his way out of the police station, Sam covering him from the cameras. Within hours, he saw himself on websites with wild fabricated stories. Except for one--

“Dean Winchester walks off stage, broken. Love problems? Sources say yes. During his one month break before the bands current tour ‘Heart in My Hands’, it’s gathered from friends twitter feeds that he took part in a fling that fell apart shortly before the tour started. If you’re willing to let that hunk of man slip from your fingers, somethings gotta be going on.”

If he was honest, he knew he had to change, or he was going to ruin his life. Everyone was worried about him, they watched himself light his life on fire from afar. He’d done his best to cut out the people he loved, even his best friends Gabe and Jo. The wreckage was visible all the way from home.

_“You lied to me! You think you’re the only one with problems, Dean? You’re selfish and an arrogant bastard! I can’t believe I let you in just to ruin my life. Do me a favour and stay the fuck out of my life, because I will never forgive you.” Cas shouted, pushing Dean out of his apartment._

__

_“Do you think I wanted to lie to you?” He asked, like he was grasping for the surface, desperate for air._

__

_“Yes.” Cas shouted back, slamming the door right in his face. Dean stayed there all night, praying that he’d open that damn door. He never did._

‘I miss my best friend @DeanLazarusRising’ Jo tweeted one night following his short stint in the slammer, followed by a reply from Gabe. ‘@Jo_Harvelle I’d accept a pity call at 3am if it meant he’d say anything at all.’

Two weeks following that, Gabe got his wish. Late at night, practically morning, Dean was wide awake and at the very end of his dreadfully long rope. Speed dial number three, he called.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Gabe.” He said. Something about that tone of voice he heard that night was so shattered that Gabe couldn’t bare it.

“Tell me all about it.”

A few weeks following, Dean started telephone therapy that was based in Lawrence. At first, there were more sessions than days in the week. They covered issues in every section of Dean’s overly complicated life. His alcoholism, trust issues, paralyzing daddy issues, and his love life. It was a slow change, but openly apparent. Dean quit drinking, and slowly let his friends and family back into his life. There weren’t anymore embarrassing stories on trashy websites, or pictures of him ruining his career.

Nine Months After the Breakup.

Tonight was their first show for the newest album tour ‘The Boy Saw a Comet.’ Their first show started in Lawrence, Kansas. Along with their newest tour manager Jo Harvelle, they were ready to take on a new chapter in their life. Things were changing and they were ready.

“How’re y’all doin tonight?” Dean asked, pumped and ready to start. The sad little boy in his voice was finally gone, replaced by the strong brave man he always was.

“Now, how many of you have heard the new album?” The crowd cheered loudly, finally Dean earned his support again, after nearly losing it all.

“We’re gonna start off with a lil’ story, alright? Because I feel this needs to be said,” Dean said, looking to his brother who nodded, giving him confidence.

“Ten months ago I fell in love real fast, in this here city,” The cheers were deafening, it made his heart throb in his chest. “Then nine months ago I got my heart broken. Believe me, it was all my fault. I spiraled and wrecked a lot of good things. But I’m finally… I’m finally in a place where I can pick up my baggage and move on.” His breath was fairly fast, and his anxiety was pumping through his body like a drug.

“Most importantly, I promised someone that I wouldn’t write any songs about them. Now we all know that I’ve written some drunken heart broken bullshit. So I think I have one more song before I put this all to rest. Do y’all agree?”

‘@DeanLazarusRising I’m real proud of you, Dean.’ Gabe sent out.

“This is for you, Mr. [Trench Coat Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd70pcFeKxo).” Dean shouted before easing into the song. The only person who would understand that, is the only one that matters. The dumb song he’d written while high on love and intoxicated by his touch. Not many songs are kept private these days, but this one was only for them.

“There’s not enough for you to give, if you’re givin’ in.” Behind him, Sam was on the keyboard with a wide smile. Months ago, Sam wouldn’t have imagined that they’d be on another tour ever again. Let alone have a functioning brother around.

“[This love is all I have to give…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTyJ4y6z854)” The song ended slowly, yet powerful.

The rest of the concert went without a single hitch. Jo posted a video on twitter under the Lazarus Rising page, it was filmed from under him while he sang their opener. Specifically his shout out. Dozens of pages popped up over night, either impersonating Cas without his name, or trying to find him, even hate pages. All without ever knowing his name.

“We were just kids in love, the summer was full of mistakes we wouldn’t learn from. First kiss stole the breath from my lips, why did the last one tear us apart.” He sang two nights later in Pontiac, IL on a college campus.

Dean found himself between songs staring right into the crowd. Normally this time would be spent with banter for the sake of comedic relief. But tonight was different. He saw those pools of Pacific Ocean in his eyes, and he couldn’t tear himself away.

 

["The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him.It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn’t understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again… And his belief in God and love and art would be whole again."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwrjnJaWl68) He sang lowly,  approaching those pools of Pacific ocean eyes.

******  
**

But when he arrived, those eyes simply weren’t there.

****  



End file.
